Our Little Co-Sleeper
Prior to being a parent, I used to scoff at the thought of co-sleeping.
“Children need to learn to sleep in their own bed,” was the mantra running through my head, and I couldn’t fathom a child sleeping between parents, unless the child was sick or scared on those very occasional moments.
When Little Dude was born, we faced many sleepless hours as our son wasn’t about to sleep when put in a bed of any sort. And on his back – forget it. He would last an hour. So we broke all our rules and began some modified co-sleeping.
Those first few weeks, the Hubby and I sharing shifts on the couch or recliner in our living room, with Little Dude asleep on chests, while the off-duty parent would have a couple hours of sleep in bed, alone.
As a mom working outside the home, and finances being what they are and were, I returned to work two months after giving birth. Not a day I looked forward to, as despite my earlier beliefs that I would never desire to be a stay-at-home mom, I soon realized how much I didn’t want to miss a moment of his life.
I was determined to continue breastfeeding and pumping for Little Dude’s food supply, despite my schedule, and since Little Dude was a big night feeder, and still wasn’t sleeping all that well, I knew my sleep would be interrupted many times and I would no longer have the chance to catch a nap mid-day.
Our routine was soon established.
Little Dude would sleep in his bassinet (and later his crib) for a while (and man-oh-man was it a challenge to get him to sleep for any length of time!). I would put him back in either of his beds if he woke prior to midnight for a feeding. If the feeding was after midnight, Little Dude and I would find our way to the extra bedroom, where we would curl-up for the rest of the night, so he could nurse as needed, and I could catch some extra sleep.
It was cozy, and despite the many sleepless nights and the wishes I had for “just one solid night of sleep,” I loved our quiet, sleepy time spent together in those wee hours of the morning.
When he was diagnosed with the severe dairy-protein allergy (at six-months-old), some of this sleeplessness was explained. Eventually, after the allergy diagnosis, a diet switch for me, and a few nights of tears (Little Dude shed a few, too), Little Dude was sleeping through the night and would no longer curl-up so contentedly with us. He had learned to like his own space for sleeping.
We were sad, but at the same time we knew he was on the road to independence, the ultimate goal most parents wish for their children.
And then we went on vacation this year, and one of Little Dude’s old enemies came into view – a port-a-crib!
We tried several times to get Little Dude to go to sleep in the port-a-crib, and it did work. Once. He promptly woke screaming within a few hours.
After that, and the screaming we heard whenever we took him near the crib, we finally gave in. (Yes, I used to claim I wouldn’t be “that” parent either – giving-in to my strong-willed child. Silly mommy.) He slept between us for the rest of the trip.
We worried about how things would pan-out when we returned home, but happily, Little Dude saw his crib, pointed to it that night, and proclaimed, “night-night.”
This past week, we revisited co-sleeping, as Little Dude has been unable to sleep for any extended period of time, since the beginning of week, due to coughing.
After a night of absolutely no sleep, following several nights of very little sleep, Friday night saw Little Dude and I curled-up in the recliner in the living room – very much a flashback to those nights when we first brought him home.
Although it wasn’t a perfectly comfortable night for either of us, since Little Dude was frustrated, in his sleep, when he couldn’t stretch out the way he wanted – we had some tears, kicking and lots of squirming – and I was in an upright position to help keep him from coughing, it was somewhat wonderful to just be snuggled, with my baby, who is now a little boy, for a full night.
In good news, Little Dude is doing better – and more importantly, he is back to sleeping contentedly in his bed.
As for me, my stance on co-sleeping has been permanently altered by all we’ve experienced in the past almost two years. In fact, my hard-lined stance on how to parent has changed quite a bit. I’m a lot more open, and quick to tell people to “pick your battles carefully,” and that “there isn’t one right way to parent every child.”
That being said, I really am glad my child prefers his own bed. And after all the struggles we went through in the beginning, to get him to sleep peacefully, I think you can understand why I keep taking these pictures.
We’ve come so far. To see him sleep so peacefully now, is such a blessing.
What sweet pictures. I know that co-sleeping works for some people, but I was so thankful that JJ was such a good sleeper. It made going back to work and getting up early so much easier when I was rested. But, even since he got sick early this school year, we have struggled getting him to stay in his big boy bed. We are starting to make some gains in the last few days as he is old enough and excited enough about a Sticker Chart and the promise of Jedi figurines for staying in his bed. He is still waking up a couple times, but he is going back to his bed easy and going back to sleep easy and this makes a huge difference. There are no hard and fast rules for parenting, are there.
We co-sleep when the kids have a bad dream, which (thankfully) isn’t often… We only have a full sized bed, and it just wasn’t made for 3 bodies! *lol* … When a kid ends up in our bed, after an hour or so of getting kicked, I always end up on the couch. *lol*
Sweet pics! I have allowed co-sleeping when the kids were sick, had a bad dream, or we were traveling and the child was having a hard time. I have been lucky in that my kids never got into the habit of sleeping with mom and dad. They seemed to understand that the co-sleeping was for “special” circumstances.
Look at him all cuddled up with his favourite things! How sweet! I love the grip he has on that Mickey Mouse.
We sometimes wish that Kitten would sleep with us, but for her, our bed is just a giant place to play. So that means that she sleeps in her bed, all night, every night. Which is ok with us most of the time! We wish that we could catch some sleepy cuddles sometimes, but know that those days may one day come again. She did sleep with us for the first 2 months of her life, but as soon as she went to her crib, we all started to sleep through the night, and that was so much better.
I totally agree about the modified opinion that one receives after becoming a parent. There are so many things that I have been “educated” in.
As fr the Co-Sleeping, it happens all too often in our house, and while we do have a king-size bed, there are times now when it sleeps five! My children are usually cunning enough (Maggie excluded … so far) that they creep in without us waking and it is not until they are fast asleep and kicking that wake up. Then I usually make a judgment call as to whether I take them back or sleep in one of their beds and I choose whichever I perceive to offer the most sleep.
He’s so peaceful looking.
We never co-slept as a family, but many mornings Mr. Hot would come home from his 8 am class and find us both out cold on the couch.
I’m happy for you!
Those photos are absolutely adorable.
We co-slept for the first 6 months. I would have gone longer, but my husband didn’t want to and I respected his wish, especially since I could see his point.
Those photos are the sweetest!! And yeah, it’s amazing what we *think* we’ll do once we become parents LOL. Definitely not in sync with reality, most of the time!!
Also – there’s a fun little ’surprise’ waiting for you at my blog – check it out. . .
i think it is great that the cat and mickey have pitched in to help with the co-sleeping! lol
wonderful pics.
storm
First, I hope everyone understands that we don’t co-sleep full-time by any means. What I wanted to point out, though, is that when you are a parent – all bets are off, and you’ll do anything to comfort that child and make things work.
inthefastlane – I hope all is still going well with JJ and getting him back into his own bed. I know we’ll allow Little Dude to join us when sick or scared, in the future, but we will continue to encourage him to sleep in his own space otherwise, since we all do better and he really does enjoy waking-up at his own pace in there.
Julie – We have a queen bed, so just slightly bigger. Thus the reason Little Dude and I would head to the extra bedroom for co-sleeping when he was so tiny. As for Florida, it was squishy, but somehow we made it work.
kweenmama – Your practice is how we hope to continue for our future of co-sleeping.
Kait – Little Dude actually does see our bed as one big playground now, which is funny, since he used to nap the best if we let him nap in there. (One or both of us would lay in there with him, he would fall asleep, and we would just stay close-by to make certain he didn’t roll off the bed, even with the “pillow borders” we created.) Yes, I wish, for fun, he would just fall asleep in there sometimes, when we are having a trying day, where everyone is tired.
Mr Geek – So jealous of your king-sized bed. Although with three kids, I’m sure you end up with less room than we have in our queen-sized one.
hotfessional – That so sounds like the first months of Little Dude’s life. Whichever parent was home would be zonked on the couch, recliner or bed with Little Dude.
Veredd – The Hubby and I have talked a lot about what works for us, and happily, we are on the same page, so I’m glad you were able to compromise with your husband, too. Did you allow six months with both children? How was the transition?
Bee – Thank you for the surprise! (And as a parent, yes, isn’t it amazing how much the plans and realities differ?)
Storm – I loved it when Supercat actually came close enough to curl-up with Little Dude. He isn’t allowed in his room at night, but yes, they used to nap together on our bed. Mickey has been a constant companion in bed, since the Florida trip.