Hill Smith Family Update

I’m kind-of late in writing my true mother’s day post, but with the exception of posting a few photos of Little Dude, I banned myself from sitting at the computer too much this weekend. It was a bit of a gift to myself - the gift of time. I meant to write something yesterday, but then I wanted to share the pacifier-free living, which is still going strong, by the way - Little Dude wants nothing to do with them.

Mommy’s Day. First, happy mother’s day to all of my mom friends, mom blog-lurkers, and anyone else passing through. If you have been a mom, or just acted as a caregiver to a child - this day is for you.

Second, to all of the people out there who dream of being a mom and are struggling, I know how tough this day is for you. I’m sorry, and my thoughts and prayers are with all of you. Although we are blessed to have Little Dude in our lives now, I remember the tears and frustration prior to having him.

I found out I was pregnant a week after mother’s day, two years ago. The week before that BFP (”big fat positive,” for those of you who have never entered the baby-craving Web world), I silently cried all through church, with tears escaping down my cheeks at various times, as the message focused on moms. And when I got home, I sobbed my eyes out. My friend A, and I exchanged our frustration and depression, at our inabilities to become moms, on a regular basis, via email.

Happily, she and I have both been blessed with beautiful and healthy little boys. Me, last year. Her, earlier this year.

But back to that year, two years ago… When I was in church that day, one of the ladies who attends our church, Mrs. P, turned to me at one point, and mentioned that “maybe next year” I would be celebrating with the rest of the moms. Mrs. P had no idea the struggles we had been through and how hopeless that idea seemed to me.

I adore Mrs. P, and she was my parent’s neighbor for years and years, while my sisters and I were growing up, but I was just a bit upset at the time, as to me, when people said things along the lines of, “so, when are you going to have a baby?” or, “hopefully, you will be a mom someday,” it tended to rub salt in that wound. I had learned to just say, “we aren’t having children,” to most people, as it avoided the talk of getting pregnant and such.

However, like I’ve told Mrs. P, I now think of her as kind-of my angel - sent to me to maybe let me know that all of that was about to change. Just a day short of one week after mother’s day, I took the test. And it was positive.

In fact, it turned positive before I had even had a chance to set it down to wait. I darn near fell off the toilet, to be blunt, when I saw it change!

The funny thing was, although things were off a bit, I didn’t suspect I was pregnant at the time. I was taking the test for my own peace of mind, just to rule out the possibility that I was pregnant, as I was scheduled to begin taking a new medication, which I couldn’t take if I was pregnant. And I just wanted to be safe.

I’m so glad I tested.

So, there is my mommy’s day story. It has been a whirlwind two years since then, and I’m so happy to celebrate today as my second official year as a mommy. And overall, it has been a great day!

Once again, to all of you moms, grandmas or other caregivers, happy mother’s day. Thank you for making the difference in the life of a child.

To all of you who struggle with this holiday, for whatever reason, I hope tomorrow brings a new day, new hopes and a sense of peace.

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Now for the personal stuff –

To my mom - Thank you for all you do, have done, and will do. Thank you, especially, for not killing me during the teen years. Not that you would, as I was such a perfect child, but I’m just sayin’… I’m so thrilled Little Dude has you as a grandma, and that you are able to spend two days a week caring for him! You are building a bond with him that he will always remember.

To my mother-in-law - Thank you for raising the Hubby to be the man he is today (and teaching him how to cook, or we all might starve!!!!!), and for accepting me into your family with love and open arms. I am so thankful you are here and that you adore Little Dude. It warms my heart to see him with you! I wish we could all be up at the hospital with you on Tuesday, but will stay connected via phone. We hope and pray all goes well, and that you have a speedy recovery!

To my grandmother - Thank you for still seeing me as grandma’s girl, for loving to talk with me, for always looking out for me and for being on the end of the phone, or there with a hug, when it felt like I didn’t have a friend and was fighting disagreeing with my parents. (Rest of the world - you didn’t see that part. I was a perfect child. Right mom?) Thank you for adoring Little Dude, and listening to me blather on about how perfect he truly is - just like me as a child, right?

To my Aunt Char - Thank you for taking me into your home as a nanny to your eldest child (who is about to graduate from high school, holy cow!), when mom and I needed a bit of a break from each other during those late teen years (again, I was perfect, so I don’t know why that was…). Thank you for being there and letting me play mom to Maggie. Just remember, when she is being difficult - I didn’t teach her that!

To my sisters - Happy mom’s day to you both. To the older sister, Mrs V - Thanks for being there with years of advice, including some of those truly embarrassing questions you answered while you were in college, of which I will not share the details on here, for fear of ruining my fairly family-friendly blog. J - You are mom to your cats, and have played mom for some of the past boyfriends, so we’ll let you share in it, too. **giggle**

And to my friend A - In the words of a very old ad campaign (for cigarettes, of all things not family-friendly, I believe), “We’ve come a long way, baby!” Happy 1st Mom’s Day!

Happy Mother’s Day, everyone!